Swedish Meatballs

Okay, so I'm cheating already. I've decided that "one new recipe a week" means "one new recipe I haven't made in my own kitchen or by my own hands." So I've decided family recipes, that I haven’t made, totally count as “new” recipes. I’ll try not to cheat like this too often, because I pretty much know how these family recipes will turn out. And that’s not quite the goal of the New Year’s Aim. But, then again, maybe it is.

On with it already…

So, by Swedish Meatballs I mean I didn’t make the meatballs, the recipe comes off of the back of the frozen meatball package, there are only 5 ingredients in the recipe (6 if you count water), and I’m Scandinavian. The recipe could just as easily be called Meatball Stroganoff. And it’s a total hack. And I love it. This is what my uncle Craig makes for Christmas appetizers (some of us eat more of these than the ham, though). And if I’m in attendance, he’ll make them for Thanksgiving, too.

Due to the outrageous fat and salt content of these puppies, I can see why they must be stuffed into the corners of our holidays and only dusted off once a year. I do little to increase the health value of this dish, but I do steam broccoli to have with it and, for starch, I aim for the gluten-free variety (‘cause I’m a nut like that). Potatoes, rice, and rice-based pasta are all fair game. And, for those of you pooh-poohing stuff like “rice-based pasta,” I assure you, with the cream sauce all over it, you won’t be able to tell the difference. I’m going to have to throw sautéed mushrooms into this one of these days; it just seems like that kind of recipe.

Can we have the recipe now, please?

Fine, here it is.

Swedish Meatballs

1 package frozen meatballs (24 ounces), Simek’s brand preferred
2 packages Knorr Brown Gravy mix (1.2 ounces each)
1 pint sour cream
¼ teaspoon freshly ground pepper
¼ teaspoon allspice

1. Place frozen meatballs in crock pot.
2. Prepare gravy as directed on package in a medium (not small) saucepan. Whisk gravy into sour cream in the pan. Stir in pepper and allspice. Pour over meatballs.
3. Cover and cook on low 4–8 hours.
4. Serve over rice or buttered noodles if desired.

As made by Craig Halvorsen

Note from me:
For the love of all that’s good and holy, please, please add something green to your plate when you eat these! Broccoli, peas, kale, spinach, I don’t care! If you don’t, your eyes will notice and tell your brain which will initiate an immediate shut down due to impending health failure. You’ve been warned.